Don’t Say I Do Without the Third Cord


“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12


The months of June and July are the months that we see marriage ceremonies on the rise. Me and my husband just returned from witnessing the nuptials of a family member, as well as celebrating our anniversary.  This most sacred union, marriage, has become a negative term and hotbed topic in our culture and society.  We no longer look at marriage with anticipation and joy, but with fear. People are scared that if they get married then there is the possibility of getting divorced. No, marriage does not guarantee a lifelong relationship, but neither does any relationship. Marriage was designed to be a lifelong relationship, a commitment and a covenant. The only reason it is not is because we have made it that way. We too often look for any easy way out. If we feel unhappy, then just leave. If you feel unfulfilled, then leave. If your husband makes you mad, you can just leave.

My parents were married for over 20 years and divorced when I was eighteen. My husband and I have been married this month for 12 years. Surviving my parents divorce, 12 years of marriage and 22 years in a relationship I must say I have witnessed the good and bad of marriage. It’s not easy to maintain or survive a marriage during the difficult times, especially in our society.  After my husband and I were newly married, we would throw the big “D” and “S” word around.  I made choices and decisions that threatened the covenant of my marriage because of my attitude, insecurities and because I felt as though I was lost in this relationship. But we had to decide if  we wanted to be married and if we did then divorce and separation was not an option. And working it out has not been an easy road. We have experienced major ebbs and flows which brought on money problems, confusion, miscommunication and interference from unwanted life situations. I know the only way we have survived the ebbs and flows of this journey called marriage is because we have a third person in this marriage with us. I know that we could not have remained together without our third cord, God. I really don’t know how some do it without Christ. He has become the center of our home, and in those days that we could really could hurt each other,  The Spirit has acted as the umpire and we have no choice but to see each other through His eyes. 

Hence, the key to surviving is seeing marriage and each other through God’s eyes, hearing each other with God’s ears, lifting each other with God’s hands, encouraging each other with God’s Words, and loving each other with God’s heart.  Marriage is about choosing each day, each minute, to honor God with our words and actions, and in turn, we honor our spouse. Marriage was created by God for our good, for the good of our society, and for His plan to be fulfilled. It’s about companionship, pleasure, responsibility, commitment, romance, raising the next generation—the whole package. It’s the most difficult and yet the most fulfilling relationship we experience during our time on earth. And that’s why it’s worth fighting for. Today I want us to meditate on our marriages and ask our Savior to refresh, restore and revive these unions. Let’s speak life to release the awesome power of God as He works to restore, strengthen, and heal marriages so that this most holy union is not overpowered and broken.


Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I come on the authority of your Word. I pray and confess your Word over my marriage and as I do, I use my faith, believing that Your Word will come to pass. I confess that we will let all bitterness, indignation, wrath, rage, bad temper, resentment, abuse, evil speaking, malice, spite, ill will be banished from us. I pray that we have become helpful, kind, tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding, responsible, forgiving readily and freely as You Father, forgave me. I ask Lord that we walk in love, esteeming and delighting one another as Christ loved us and gave Himself up as a sacrificial offering so that I could become a sweet fragrance. I come against the spirit of separation and divorce, your power is broken from our marriage in the name of Jesus. Lord, Help us to submit one to another as we submit ourselves to You. Thank You Father for hearing my prayer as we strive for the love of God to reign supreme in our home, and for the peace of God to acts as a umpire in all situations in Your Son matchless name, Jesus Christ. Amen. 


Contributed by: Pastor Yolanda Douthit

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