One of the greatest inventions ever to this mom of three kids is the Magic Eraser. When I use the erasers, I really feel like I am working magic. From baseboards, stair railings, walls, and the gunk on the flat surface stove, I am able to wipe out years of marks and stains with just a few swipes of the Magic Eraser.
As a survivor of Domestic Violence, I wish I could magically erase everything. I wish I could wipe out the marks and stains, those visible and those not seen.
Daily I think about the things I could have or should have done differently. Sometimes I revisit the hurt, especially when I write or speak about my story of survival. I am now understanding that the power and control that was over my life had me fearful to share my journey because I was told no one would care or believe me. Those feelings of fear can’t just be wiped away but what I am learning is that the love of Jesus Christ works better than any Magic Eraser and because I know He loves me, I can share my experience.
I want to erase the things that were said to me, “You outta be glad someone wanted you with three kids,” “Your crazy,” “I could kill you and no one would know,” and so many other things. I wish I could erase what he said to my kids, the arguments they heard us have, and the hurtful things he did to make us miserable. Memories of his gun, the broken arm, and being choked breathless because I finally decided to stand up for myself are hard to erase.
A Magic Eraser would have been perfect for the anger I felt, the feelings of hurt and pain, and the bitterness of unforgiveness that followed the end of that season of my life. I wanted to wipe out my memory completely.
Now I am understanding that to erase it all would be in vain. My story of survival is meant to be told. When I share my experience with others and I see the hope in their eyes that they too can survive, I realize that my testimony cannot be erased. What I went through wasn’t all about me. Sharing my journey is to help empower others and let them know that they too can survive.
There is no Magic Eraser for the pain of our past, but there is an awesome God that can heal the pain and turn our testimony into our triumphs. I am no longer waiting for the mystical powers of the Magic Eraser to clean up my past, but I am instead embracing the fact that everything is working for my good and my testimony is a beacon of hope for others that too will survive
Meet the Contributor
Deborah Woolard is a single mother of three from Raleigh, NC and she currently resides in Charlotte, NC. She is an ordained & licensed minister and she serves as the Youth Director at R5 Church. Her love for writing, especially poetry is one of the many ways God allows her to use her gifts for His glory. Her poetry can be viewed at https://m.facebook.com/gracefullydsignedbydeborah/.