I do not like scary movies, haunted houses, or monsters. Even the movie Ghostbusters grossed me out and I could barely stomach Monster’s Inc.because of the monster with the one eye (very disturbing). To me, monsters are ugly, disgusting creatures, that seek to destroy us, and I cannot stand monsters. One of the biggest, meanest, and most horrible monsters of them all is, unforgiveness. That is one monster that I am determined to squash.
The monster of unforgiveness is a lot like the thief in John 10:10, because its job is to steal, kill, and destroy. It is a stinking nasty monster that wants you to take on its form by having you stay in a place where you refuse to forgive. This monster shows up in families, relationships, on our jobs, and just about anywhere that we leave the door open giving it room to come in.
I personally have had the monster of unforgiveness steal my joy. Growing up, I was so angry about many things that transpired in my life and because I chose not to forgive those that hurt me, I stayed mad all of the time. I had the worst attitude. No one could tell me anything and I always had my lips poked out. I refused to be happy because I felt I had a right to hold onto my anger. What I did not realize at the time was, I was making my own self miserable. I was very bitter and I took it out on those around me and myself. That monster had overcome me and I was taking on its meanest form.
I wish at that time in my life, I would have been more prepared with the word and I could have squashed that monster back then with Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (NKJV) I did not have to walk around in that bitter state, but I just did not know any better. Now that I am more equipped, I know that forgiving and being kind is godly. Now that I have forgiven, my joy has returned.
That monster of unforgiveness has killed relationships. There are those that I love and even though I have asked for forgiveness whether right or wrong, the other person has chosen to not forgive, and the relationship has died. I have seen this monster destroy families because someone decided not to forgive. It is hard to forgive family and I believe that is because family is the one that knows you the most and should have a better understanding of the who, why, what, when, and how but for whatever reason, family can hold some serious grudges. The monster loves to see these grudges because he knows that holding onto unforgiveness is what will kill the relationship. It is up to us to use our weapon of forgiveness to squash that monster by forgiving our brothers, sisters, cousins, aunties, uncles, and parents, as the scripture tells us in Luke 17:3-4, “So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (NIV)
The monster of unforgiveness is a horrible beast and it is destroying marriages every day. Preachers talk about it, seminars are given, and retreats are offered to help heal marriages, but divorce is so prevalent among Christians and one of the biggest reasons stated is, unforgiveness. The enemy would want nothing more than to see marriages fall apart and families destroyed so that’s why that monster of unforgiveness shows its ugly face in homes. I understand there are factors to consider when speaking of divorce, including domestic abuse, and abandonment, but I have heard countless stories where people were ready to throw in the towel simply because they did not want to forgive. It is easy not to forgive someone when you feel justified for holding onto the anger and bitterness but there will come a time when you too will need to be forgiven so before you throw in the towel, consider Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (NIV) I know I need the Father to forgive me of some things I have done, so I am going to squash that monster and forgive. Forgiveness is what can move marriages from divorce to destiny.
Squashing the monster of unforgiveness may not come easy but do not let too much time pass before you chose to forgive. Forgiving can replace what the monster tried to steal, revive what it tried to kill, and restore what the monster attempted to destroy. We have victory over the monster and we are free when we forgive. Not only are we assured to squash the monster of unforgiveness when we forgive, but Ephesians 1:7 reminds us that it is in Him that we too are redeemed and forgiven by God, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”
Deborah Woolard is a single mother of three from Raleigh, NC and she currently resides in Charlotte, NC. She is an ordained & licensed minister and she serves as the Youth Director at R5 Church. Her love for writing, especially poetry is one of the many ways God allows her to use her gifts for His glory. Her poetry can be viewed at https://m.facebook.com/gracefullydsignedbydeborah/.