When I look back over my life, I often find myself sitting in a ring of regret. I think about the many things I have failed to complete, and I feel like my life isn’t how it should be. I begin this cycle of allowing my thoughts of regret to hold me captive and before I know it, I’m beating myself up with should’ve, would’ve, and could haves. Well now it’s time to take the gloves off. It’s time to stop beating myself up.
I started this fight. I became my own bully. I kept telling myself that I was the reason I failed at relationships, I didn’t finish college, I’m in debt up to my ears, and that is why I don’t have my own home and can’t seem to succeed in anything. Each day I was jabbing myself with these thoughts. I would show up to the boxing ring, only to take my own self out. Many days I’d beat myself up so bad that I’d crawl around the ring and cry from my defeat.
I allowed my losses to become my excuses. I felt there was no way I’d ever win a Title fight, Wife, Minister, Author, Home Owner. My past mistakes left me pinned to the mat. I would just lay there and see my old self as the promiscuous chick that liked to drink and party. I wasted time, money, and many opportunities. My past would flash in front of me with all of the mistakes, missteps, and misfortunes. I’d see all the many reasons why I was unworthy and it would cause me to just lay there and allow the countdown to begin.
My head became so bruised and clouded from the many blows I dealt myself, that I forgot to retreat to my corner to get the assistance I needed. See in boxing, in your corner, you have a cornerman and a cutman. The cornerman coaches and assist the fighter and the cutman helps prevent and treat physical damage. God is both our corner and cutman.
God coaches us through His Word. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.” (KJV). See I was leaning the wrong way in the fights and that’s why I kept knocking myself out. I failed to lean on my cornerman.
If I would have leaned on God, my cornerman, much sooner, I would have known to use that left hook of 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (NIV) God as my cutman knew I needed my wounds treated so He had to put the ointment on them of Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing…” (NIV) Once I left my corner, I knew I would win the title of 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (KJV)
At this point in my life, I have retreated to my corner and I am working with my cornerman and my cutman. Now I am wining. I am a new creature. I am winning the titles. I can take the gloves off and stop beating myself up. All of those old things that kept me on the mat are now passed away and they lay defeated in the ring.
Deborah Woolard is a single mother of three from Raleigh, NC and she currently resides in Charlotte, NC. She is an ordained & licensed minister and she serves as the Youth Director at R5 Church. Her love for writing, especially poetry is one of the many ways God allows her to use her gifts for His glory. Her poetry can be viewed at https://m.facebook.com/gracefullydsignedbydeborah/.