31 May Wrong Turns
“Obstacles are Detours Towards the Right Direction”
This quote by Gabrielle Bernstein is the story of my life. Don’t know her, never heard of her before but her YouTube video was suggested as I was watching others, but those seven words hit me like a ton of bricks. I paused it, played it repeatedly, and wrote it on my Prayer Wall. And have literally looked at it everyday for the last 6 to 7 days. As I do every chance that I can, I like to reflect. To ask myself those hard questions; “ What did you learn Natosha? Was that the right decision? Did that only effect you? What were your intentions when you did that?” I do like the answers all the time that I may get, especially the ones when I did not seek the Father and be patient enough for His divine directions. Sitting down at the round table with yourself is very difficult sometimes, but very necessary. In doing this there has always ben a difficult lesson that I had to learn and would not have learned it any other way.
When you read the Father’s Word do you literally take it to heart and really believe or is it something you may “break in case of emergencies”? Do you pray, and then use words that are contradicting to your prayers? I like how The Message bible recites Romans 8:26-28; “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” No matter how far we go in another direction, it will be for our benefit; our good.
When I look back, my biggest detour occurred when I was 18 years old and in my last year of high school. Throughout my school years academics were very important to me. I loved being recognized for my various achievements; Who’s Who Among American High School Students, all kinds of Minority Achievement awards, Honor Society; whatever it was I was aspiring to achieve it. And when my acceptance letter came from the exact and only school I wanted to attend and applied for; that was the cherry on top. I had done it. Winston Salem State University here I come! Oh and it would be on a full academic scholarship. Woop Woop!! Ain’t God good? Yes He is, even though I found out I was pregnant at that time also. What is a girl to do? I was embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, and confused. This was nowhere in MY plans. A baby? I can’t take a baby to school with me? I don’t have the family resources to leave my child home. I was spiraling into a depression. I had failed in my eyes. I had not lived up to my grandfather’s expectations. I knew he was very disappointed in me. I was to be the first person in my family to graduate high school and college. I could see the let down in his eyes. I did become dispirited and disheartened.
I lived in the environment of no education. I knew all too well the broken spirit of underachievement and dreams unfulfilled. It’s a spirit I recognized early and always knew it couldn’t be my story. But as my favorite scripture Jeremiah 29; 11 (somehow I reference this in most of my blogs)
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I knew this was in His plans for me. Yes, I was an unwed teenager but I was a thinker. I was a scholar. I was never a person to settle. I knew Jesus and that is all I needed. He gave me a full scholarship then, He would give me one again.
That one major detour brought so many successes to my life. I set out to be a good mom, ended up being a great mom. I strived to raise good children, and I have great children. The one who changed my life first, will change my life again soon. I thought I lost a full scholarship; only He was saving it for my child. I grew up and learned true gratitude. I’ve met incredible people I would have never met if I had not been a mother. I know it would have been a very joyous occasion if I would have graduated and went to college then, but as I graduated Magna Cum Laude on May 21, 2017, with my children cheering me on, my tears were different. They were hard earned and resilient. The tears I cried as I walked across that stage were shimmers of sparkle that depression, poverty, and shame tried to dull. His plan was best for me. The Father knew even then that I would prosper not in the way I expected but in Him. He knew I would experience true happiness in adversity and I have. I would have empathy for my parents who truly did the best they could, and the only way I would get that was to be a parent. Like I’ve said many times before, and I will say again, GOD IS INTENTIONAL. And everything has worked for my good! Those back roads I had to detour on were a bumpy. I caught a few flat tires and ran out of gas, but somehow He sent a passerby with just what I needed to get me back on course!
Worship With Me!
Contributed by: NaTosha Stewart
Natasha is a resident of North Carolina. She is the proud mother of two sons, a successful stylist of 25 years and owner of Charlotte Hair Therapist and a recent graduate of Johnson C. Smith University. She is a faithful covenant partner of The Sanctuary, and a passionate and zealous woman of many talents who is eager to share her wisdom and knowledge